A commonly cited reason for not following through on plans to change diet and exercise habits in order to improve health is lack of time. We all get it. Most people fill their waking hours with all sorts of activity, especially if you have children. It all comes down to how you prioritize your time and yourself.
Almost 100% of the time, the person who wants to eat right and exercise can arrange to do it if he is willing to make necessary changes. The problem is often twofold; resistance to change and a long-time habit of taking care of everyone else and everything else before taking care of self.
According to psychiatrist Dr. Peter Breggin, one of the many reasons people have difficulty in life is that they do not understand the difference between being unselfish and being selfless.
Most of us were taught as children to be unselfish and to help others – to share our toys with other children, to help mom clean up the living room so she does not have to do it all herself, or to let a visiting friend have the last piece of pizza. Good parents model this type of behavior for their kids. They prioritize family life and taking good care of their children and often make financial sacrifices in order for their kids to receive a good education, to take music lessons, or to have opportunities to travel. So far so good. Learning about giving to others and figuring out that the world does not revolve around us is a good thing.
But sometimes, and for a variety of reasons, the concept of unselfishness morphs into an entirely different thing – selflessness. This is not a good thing, and it often causes multiple problems, including failure to take good care of one’s health.
The selfless person almost always puts the needs of others first, and often at the expense of things like focusing on personal goals and self-care. The selfless person says things such as “I really want to be lean and healthy, and to reduce or eliminate some of my medications. But by the time I finish work, drive my kids to all of their sports activities, mow the lawn for my dad and the neighbor, and volunteer at the church, there is just no time for exercise. Actually, I can’t shop and cook either, which is why we eat out so much.” What this person is really saying is, “I’m so busy doing things for others that I cannot do the things I should do or want to do for myself.”
A near-compulsive focus on everyone and everything else is sometimes a way to avoid examining one’s own life, taking risks, learning new skills, and pursuing one’s own goals and dreams. There’s not much risk of failure or rejection in helping others, while there is in working toward building a great future.
The time of selfless behavior will ultimately come to an end when you postpone taking care of your health. One common consequence is a health challenge, sometimes quite serious. Decades of poor eating habits and lack of exercise can cause conditions like stroke, cancer, or disability.
Taking care of your health is not a selfish act. It means you value yourself as a human. It means that you want to model a healthy lifestyle for your family. It means you will have the energy to take care of your family and be of service to your church and community. We can eat well and exercise WHILE taking care of a family, being of service to others, and holding a job. This is done by doing two things; adopting an effective time management system and establishing a few boundaries in terms of commitments to others. Every situation is different, but there are solutions for almost all challenges in this area if an individual is committed to change and willing to consider options with an open mind.
If you are not achieving your health improvement goals, take a moment to consider why. There are probably a lot of reasons, but one of them may be that you are hyper-focused on everything but you and the things you should do for yourself. Decide today to do something about this BEFORE something bad happens. It’s much easier to prevent health catastrophes than to resolve them.
Welcome to 2026! Are you entering the new year thinking about all of the things you want to accomplish or what you need to "fix" about yourself, or what bad habits you need to get rid of? Are you exhausted just thinking about this?
There is something about this January 1 date that spurs us to the extreme thinking of doing and being something better. An overhaul, if you will. A reset. We create big, hairy, audacious goals. "By this time next year, I will be thinner, more in shape, running more miles, be more organized, create healthy recipes, etc., etc." What's even worse is that we try to do a lot of these things at the same time. It's extremism at its best, all or nothing thinking with little chance of seeing anything through. And sometimes our goals are a result of our own judgement against ourselves.
New Year's Resolutions: it's a trap to set ourselves up for disappointment.
The design of resolutions is outcome-driven and binary: success or failure, repair or ruin. They rely on force and control to produce change. Unsurprisingly, they don't work very well. Research suggests that most resolutions fail within a month-which means many of us spend the first weeks of the year not renewed but, at best, quietly chastened. At worst, a complete and total failure. (1)
So, how do we create change in our life, our health, our habits?
We create for ourselves prescribed procedures. Ok, yes, this is a fancy way to say good habits. But it's really a strategy. Anything worthwhile in your life needs a good strategy, a plan, a proceeding. If you decide to run a marathon, you are not going to show up the day of the race and run in your Keds. You will research the right shoes, find a good path to train, build yourself up to run more miles every day, learn how to guard against injuries, maybe even find a trainer, etc. The bottom line is you will find a practice, a pattern of behavior that you will regularly perform in order to achieve your goal.
We cannot transform ourselves overnight. It takes time, strategy, a pattern of behavior. It also takes learning about yourself and why you do (eat crap, drink too much, smoke, etc.) what you don't want to do.
My Emotional Eating class, and Habits classes set the foundations for creating optimal habits and strategies. Optimal does not meant perfect. Optimal habits are those that lead to high quality of life and longevity. I teach you how to sort out the invalid fad diet claims, how to avoid confusion and how to make informed decisions. The classes and the Food Over Medicine Club gives all of us the support we need, helps us learn how to be more confident in our decisions about our health.
And most importantly, to learn to be consistent in your daily, healthy habits. Think about the times a doctor has prescribed a medication. You take it according to his instructions, with food, without food, morning, bedtime, etc. You don't say "oh life got crazy and I was busy and I fell off of the medication taking habit". Isn't this what people say when they start a diet and then "fall off of the wagon". The best way to maintain optimal habits is to write a prescription for yourself with daily habits that you want to achieve. YOU are in control. YOU can make better decisions. YOUR life and health depend on it. We call this specific prescriptive communication instead of vague statements.
When it comes to diet and health, there seems to be a big disconnect between the stated goal: “I want to improve my health with food” and the actions that often follow – poor adherence to a health-promoting diet. This results in people spending significant periods of time – sometimes decades – working at dietary improvement, taking “baby steps,” becoming frustrated with themselves and their continued poor health and weight status, giving up, and starting over again. Sometimes the only thing that interrupts this miserable cycle is a health crisis – which could have been prevented with better habits. (2)
The biggest deterrent that prevents people from starting or continuing is the lack of time, the "I am just too busy". I get this. Our days are filled with activity. We are busy living our lives. But we need to remember that neglecting your health and self-care comes at a great expense. Your life depends on it.
Liz Fattore
Nurture Your Health
Licensed Food Over Medicine Instructor
Diet & Lifestyle Intervention
1. Suleika Jaouad "Against Resolutions
2. Pam Popper, Wellness Forum Health
